Good News: You Don’t Need to Be a Perfect Parent to Raise Secure Kids
Jan 29, 2026
This episode has been years in the making — not because Megan and I didn’t want to record it, but because… we’re two moms with full lives, multiple kids, and the kind of schedules that laugh in the face of “Let’s pick a time next week.”
But I am so glad it’s finally here, because I can’t think of a conversation more needed for the women listening to this show.
I’m joined by my client and friend, Megan LaChance, who is a parenting coach and one of the most grounded, safe, non-judgmental humans I’ve ever met. Megan has been inside Ambition Mastermind two or three times, and every time she’s in the room, she becomes the person everyone quietly leans on.
Because here’s the truth: I’m a business mentor who works with moms. I can help you build boundaries, protect your energy, and grow a business that doesn’t eat your life. But when it comes to the really hairy parenting moments — the ones that trigger guilt, shame, or panic — Megan is the person I go to.
And I know I’m not alone.
The Parenting Standard We’re Trying to Live Up To Isn’t Human
Megan talks about something I see constantly in my communities: this invisible pressure that if we want emotionally intelligent, successful, well-adjusted kids… we have to become calm, perfect, regulated robots.
Like if we react the “wrong” way…
If we raise our voice…
If we need space…
If we put our child in daycare…
If someone else watches them…
If we aren’t present for every pickup, every bedtime, every moment…
…then we’ve damaged them. Or we’ve damaged the relationship.
And Megan says what more parents need to hear:
That’s crap.
Not because parenting isn’t important. Not because we shouldn’t care how we show up. But because human relationships are not calm and perfect all the time. They’re messy. They’re chaotic. They have conflict. They have hard seasons.
So when we try to parent in a way that denies that reality — we end up feeling like we’re constantly failing.
And then we shame the crap out of ourselves.
“Am I Doing a Good Job?” Let’s Redefine That
I asked Megan point blank: what does “doing a good job” even mean?
And her answer was one of the simplest, most grounding frameworks I’ve heard:
Are you and your child most of the time in what she calls the green zone?
Meaning:
- You feel connected more often than not
- You can navigate conflict and come back together
- Your home doesn’t feel like constant escalation
- You can be with your child without your nervous system firing nonstop
And here’s the part I love most:
Megan isn’t trying to sell you a life where you never get frustrated or overwhelmed. She actually says you need the hard moments.
Because security isn’t created by everything always being peaceful.
Security is created when your child learns:
“Even when things are hard… you still come back. You still choose me. You still repair.”
Repair Is the Real Parenting Superpower
If you grew up in a house where there wasn’t much repair, you’ll understand why this part hit me so hard.
I told Megan openly: I don’t remember my parents ever apologizing to me. Not once. It was very much “I’m right, you’re wrong. I’m big, you’re small.”
And when you grow up with rupture and no repair, you learn to make sense of conflict in one of two ways:
- You internalize it — “I’m bad. I did something wrong.”
- You can’t make sense of it at all — and that’s where trauma can form
Megan explains that repair changes everything because it gives your child a story that doesn’t include blame.
When you come back and say, “I’m sorry I yelled. I was overwhelmed,” your child doesn’t have to fill in the blanks with:
“I’m too much.”
“I’m the problem.”
“I’m not safe.”
They can simply understand:
“Mom got overwhelmed. We’re okay. The relationship is safe.”
That’s powerful.
And it’s also… doable.
Even for imperfect humans.
Even Parenting Coaches Lose It (And That’s the Point)
One of my favourite moments in the episode is when Megan shares a story about getting overwhelmed with her own kids — and doing an “overwhelmed scream,” stepping away, and taking a break.
And when she came back, her nine-year-old said:
“Mom… good job taking care of your anger. You took a break.”
That, to me, is the whole goal.
Not “never struggle.”
Not “never react.”
But teaching your kids:
- Emotions are normal
- Overwhelm happens
- You can take space without abandoning the relationship
- Hard moments don’t mean you’re unsafe
This is what I mean when I say Megan is permission-giving. She doesn’t teach parenting from a pedestal. She teaches it from real life.
Your Brain Goes Offline When You’re Activated
This is where the nervous system piece matters so much — especially for entrepreneurial moms.
Megan explains that it doesn’t matter how many parenting books you read or how many scripts you screenshot from Instagram…
If your nervous system is activated, your brain is offline.
You won’t access the tools.
You won’t access the “right words.”
You won’t access calm.
You will access what your body has learned works.
For a lot of us, that’s yelling. Or shutting down. Or slamming doors. Or snapping. Or people-pleasing. Or dissociating.
Not because we’re bad.
Because our body learned that those behaviours create safety — even momentarily.
The good news?
Brains can rewire.
And you don’t have to change overnight. You just have to start building a new pathway. One moment at a time.
How to Start Changing Your Pattern (Without Getting Stuck in Shame)
Megan offers a simple starting point that I wish every parent had access to:
- Awareness — what leads up to your reactions?
- Self-compassion — don’t shame yourself for being human
- Regulation — take care of yourself first
- Repair — come back and reconnect when you’re calm
She also explains why shame keeps you stuck: shame is fear-based, and it raises your baseline stress.
So you react → shame yourself → return already escalated → react again.
That cycle is brutal.
The disruption is naming what happened without blame:
“I yelled because I was overwhelmed.”
Then asking:
“What do I need right now?”
Not “What’s wrong with me?”
But “What do I need?”
That shift alone can change everything.
The 30% Rule That Will Set You Free
Okay. This part.
Megan drops a statistic that I want every working mom to tattoo on their forehead:
To build secure attachment, you only need to be attuned to your child 30% of the time.
Not 100%.
Not even 50%.
Thirty.
The other 70% is life:
- cooking dinner
- working
- being tired
- taking a break
- getting support
- daycare/school
- answering the door
- leaving the room so you don’t explode
If you’re trying to be present 24/7, Megan explains that it often creates more ruptures because no one can be around anyone constantly and never lose it.
You’re not meant to be your child’s only source of love and safety.
And she says something I love so much:
When you get support, you’re not “handing your child off.”
You’re inviting more people to love your baby.
Why wouldn’t we want that?
What I Hope You Take From This Episode
If you’re a mom building a business, I know you carry so much.
You’re trying to grow something meaningful.
You’re trying to be present.
You’re trying to do it “right.”
And you’re exhausted.
So here’s what I hope this episode gives you:
You don’t need to be perfect to be a good parent.
You need to come back.
You need to repair.
You need support.
You need to stop shaming yourself for being human.
And if you’re in a season where you’re missing a bedtime here and there, or you’re not at every pickup, or you’re leaning on daycare or childcare to build your business…
You’re not ruining your kids.
You’re building a life. And you’re allowed to.
